That elusive joy called happiness is not a big secret... you can have it if you want it. You just want to have it.
Yes I know... it sounds too simple. However inundated with commercial after commercial and ad after ad telling us that if we buy <insertproducthere> that you will attain a happiness that will be greater than your neighbors until he buys the next biggest thing will shred your thoughts of happiness down to the core. We are trained to believe that we cannot have it unless we pay big bucks for it and even then there is no guarantee that you will be happy.
So what is it? What is the big secret?
I will be willing to share it but first you need to be willing to do a few things. Thing 1... Turn off your damn TV. It will do you no good to have the dream killer on while you concentrate on being happy.
Thing 2... Live up to your own expectations. Unless you are getting paid to present yourself a certain way it makes no sense to have someone set their expectations of who and what you are day in and day out.
Thing 3... Figure out what is yours (emotionally, financially, physically, etc...) and own it. That means figuring out what does not belong to you and giving it back to whoever it belongs to or just letting it go. It also means taking back what belongs to you. It is time to understand what your willpower is and how it might affect others. I would suggest giving your willpower to a higher power and let them give it to you as you need it, not as you want it.
Understand that happiness is like a puddle in the sidewalk. People spend hours and days staring into it seeing if there is some understanding they might be missing. They also take careful steps around it. In some cases avoiding it as they don't want to disturb it. Others will avoid it as they are not deserving of happiness.
Step into it. Learn what it feels like and what you can accomplish if you let it.
Like the grace of God, happiness is there if you want it. It is free of charge you just have to take it.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Dreams
Also known as "using dreams," have been with me since I found sobriety.
The latest had to do with drinking at work. In the dream, there was a rule that there was no drinking allowed ever. However, people got around this by hiding their rather large cans of Budwiser in very large can cozys. In my dream I only had a cozy from Tom and Jess's wedding that covered only about 2/3rds of the can. Everyone knew that I was drinking and the worse part was that I am in recovery.
I woke up a bit pissed off and irritated with the situation.
Lessons learned:
1. If I am gonna drink at work I need a bigger can cozy that will cover the entire can.
2. My disease is patiently waiting for me to let my sobriety lose it's priority in my life.
The latest had to do with drinking at work. In the dream, there was a rule that there was no drinking allowed ever. However, people got around this by hiding their rather large cans of Budwiser in very large can cozys. In my dream I only had a cozy from Tom and Jess's wedding that covered only about 2/3rds of the can. Everyone knew that I was drinking and the worse part was that I am in recovery.
I woke up a bit pissed off and irritated with the situation.
Lessons learned:
1. If I am gonna drink at work I need a bigger can cozy that will cover the entire can.
2. My disease is patiently waiting for me to let my sobriety lose it's priority in my life.
Shifting Winds
Ruts...
I don't like them. I don't like getting stuck in them. I don't like it when others get stuck in them and ask me to help them uncork from them.
I am stuck in a rut.
My employer for the last 17 years has been good to me. I have had the opportunity to grow and test some limits while they have my back on some of the decisions that have been made. I have been allowed to express thoughts and ideas that have become part of a process in various areas in the workplace.
I am not complaining about my experiences here. But it is time to see what else there is out there. I am not getting any younger and if I ever wanted to begin to live a dream it is today.
I have not given notice nor have I a plan that will move the world. But there is an opportunity out there that is merely an idea at the moment. I need to move slowly and deliberately to make it a spark and then nurture the concept until it is something that I can move on.
Until then, if I seem a bit anxious or distracted there is a reason.
I don't like them. I don't like getting stuck in them. I don't like it when others get stuck in them and ask me to help them uncork from them.
I am stuck in a rut.
My employer for the last 17 years has been good to me. I have had the opportunity to grow and test some limits while they have my back on some of the decisions that have been made. I have been allowed to express thoughts and ideas that have become part of a process in various areas in the workplace.
I am not complaining about my experiences here. But it is time to see what else there is out there. I am not getting any younger and if I ever wanted to begin to live a dream it is today.
I have not given notice nor have I a plan that will move the world. But there is an opportunity out there that is merely an idea at the moment. I need to move slowly and deliberately to make it a spark and then nurture the concept until it is something that I can move on.
Until then, if I seem a bit anxious or distracted there is a reason.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Swearing
I generally don't like to swear. I especially don't like to do it in the presence of my child. For those that do choose to swear in front of G I have instituted a "fee for cursing" policy. $0.25/curse word. The first one is free and after that each infraction costs a quarter.
G and I have had discussions on what is a curse and what is not a curse. For example, Damn vs. dam. One is a curse the other is a barrier designed to hold back water (generally.)
Bitch in terms of canine references typically is not used but can be defined as such. We were watching Harry Potter and one of the characters referred to a female dog as a bitch but it was in deference to Harry's mother. Gray area but still allowable I would think.
Hell has become a bit tricky. We decided that defined as a place and declaring it as such in the conversation will negate the fee for cursing rule.
Ass is another one. Defined as a donkey is okay. Defined as the rear end of an individual is generally considered vulgar and therefore a fee can be applied.
Application of the location rule can be varied but has led to some interesting situations.
During one conversation, Grandpa Jeff blurted out "He can kiss my ass!" then turned to G and said, "It's a place, Honey."
I may need a ruling about this but after I stop laughing...
G and I have had discussions on what is a curse and what is not a curse. For example, Damn vs. dam. One is a curse the other is a barrier designed to hold back water (generally.)
Bitch in terms of canine references typically is not used but can be defined as such. We were watching Harry Potter and one of the characters referred to a female dog as a bitch but it was in deference to Harry's mother. Gray area but still allowable I would think.
Hell has become a bit tricky. We decided that defined as a place and declaring it as such in the conversation will negate the fee for cursing rule.
Ass is another one. Defined as a donkey is okay. Defined as the rear end of an individual is generally considered vulgar and therefore a fee can be applied.
Application of the location rule can be varied but has led to some interesting situations.
During one conversation, Grandpa Jeff blurted out "He can kiss my ass!" then turned to G and said, "It's a place, Honey."
I may need a ruling about this but after I stop laughing...
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Back To Rehab!!
Okay, not really...
I went to pick up a friend who recently relapsed. She got into a rather prestigious facility known worldwide and spent 28 days getting her shit together. At least I hope she has her shit together.
She has pretty much hit bottom and now has to start from square one today. But that is the true idea of an addicts day. If we don't wake up right away and "admit we are <insert addiction here> and our lives had become unmanageable," then we are starting our day on the wrong foot. So quite literally we have to start each day at square one.
My wife is working overnights this month and I pretty much hate it.
Did I forget to mention that Carolyn and I got married? Yeah, I guess it has been a long time since I posted here but we tied the knot on May21st, 2011. It was a (relatively) small service and reception. Things have gotten better and better each day since. Except this working overnight thing. But I guess we have to make ends meet and this is one way to do it.
More later, I promise...
I went to pick up a friend who recently relapsed. She got into a rather prestigious facility known worldwide and spent 28 days getting her shit together. At least I hope she has her shit together.
She has pretty much hit bottom and now has to start from square one today. But that is the true idea of an addicts day. If we don't wake up right away and "admit we are <insert addiction here> and our lives had become unmanageable," then we are starting our day on the wrong foot. So quite literally we have to start each day at square one.
My wife is working overnights this month and I pretty much hate it.
Did I forget to mention that Carolyn and I got married? Yeah, I guess it has been a long time since I posted here but we tied the knot on May21st, 2011. It was a (relatively) small service and reception. Things have gotten better and better each day since. Except this working overnight thing. But I guess we have to make ends meet and this is one way to do it.
More later, I promise...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Back to writing.
Distress brings another post.
A family member has been given a death sentence medical diagnosis. Now it is a matter of time and treatment. The best guess given is anywhere from 55 weeks to 24 months. My goal in this is to not mourn the living but live each day to my best abilities. I also need to include this family member as much as I am allowed and all the people associated with this person.
Along the same lines a co-worker is losing a child to cancer. It is only a matter of time. Losing a child this way is not in my area of comprehension. Parents should not bury their children. I don't know what to do say or think. I have them all in my prayers.
More writing to come.
A family member has been given a death sentence medical diagnosis. Now it is a matter of time and treatment. The best guess given is anywhere from 55 weeks to 24 months. My goal in this is to not mourn the living but live each day to my best abilities. I also need to include this family member as much as I am allowed and all the people associated with this person.
Along the same lines a co-worker is losing a child to cancer. It is only a matter of time. Losing a child this way is not in my area of comprehension. Parents should not bury their children. I don't know what to do say or think. I have them all in my prayers.
More writing to come.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Patterns of Life in the Wake of a Nasty Winter
No room for complacency.
I have had a pattern going this Winter that has pretty much kept me busy.
Monday - Work at my normal job, then go to my abnormal job until 10pm or so.
Tuesday - Work at my normal job, then get G and do homework with her, get her to Girl Scouts, get her home and fed, then ready for bed.
Wednesday - Drop off G at school, work my normal job, get G from school then after her mother gets home, go to my weekly meeting. Home by 8:30 or so.
Thursday - Same as Monday only on Thursday
Friday - Work my normal job, then depending on the week I either get G from school and wait for her mother or I get her for the weekend.
Weekends - Depends on if G is with me or not.
Intermixed with this is time spent with Carolyn and then working with mushroom stuff down south.
It has been a savior this season as the weather this winter has been Hellish at best. Lots of cold and tons of snow. But now the weather is warming up and I am in need to get out and be human again.
Freeing from the schedule a bit is going to be a challenge. Time with G is sacred and work is important. Time with Carolyn is also sacred. I need to figure out a way to make this move in the right direction with very little impact.
I have had a pattern going this Winter that has pretty much kept me busy.
Monday - Work at my normal job, then go to my abnormal job until 10pm or so.
Tuesday - Work at my normal job, then get G and do homework with her, get her to Girl Scouts, get her home and fed, then ready for bed.
Wednesday - Drop off G at school, work my normal job, get G from school then after her mother gets home, go to my weekly meeting. Home by 8:30 or so.
Thursday - Same as Monday only on Thursday
Friday - Work my normal job, then depending on the week I either get G from school and wait for her mother or I get her for the weekend.
Weekends - Depends on if G is with me or not.
Intermixed with this is time spent with Carolyn and then working with mushroom stuff down south.
It has been a savior this season as the weather this winter has been Hellish at best. Lots of cold and tons of snow. But now the weather is warming up and I am in need to get out and be human again.
Freeing from the schedule a bit is going to be a challenge. Time with G is sacred and work is important. Time with Carolyn is also sacred. I need to figure out a way to make this move in the right direction with very little impact.
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